On Failing

In the past week I’ve failed a lot.  First off I failed to get a blog out last week as I was out in Bishop did not have access to a computer, and I know I could have scheduled one to post the week before but I failed to do that.  I was out bouldering in Bishop and I fell a lot more than I sent.  I played in a tournament this weekend took the first round lead and let it slip away,  Threw my best round in League to date this week and still wasn’t good enough to win.  So I’ve fallen short a lot lately.

That is not a bad thing though it just is.  Failure is going to happen.  While out bouldering last week I was happy that I got to send some routes and a few on-sights, but looking back on the week what I am most proud of are the hard routes I tried and threw myself at falling time and time again.  Some of those routes I overcame and got the problem, but others I fell and fell but never got it, and I’m proud of that.  Getting the problem and getting through is fun, but finding my limits pushing myself.  More I am proud that I fell going for it.

Often I find myself backing off and falling out of being tired, being scared of committing to the move, or feeling uncomfortable and backing off.  This trip though I found myself more often than not failing while trying to move forward and stay on.  So long as I fail giving my best effort I am OK with it for now.  I know I’m not the best, so giving my full effort might not always be enough, but when I finish I want to know I left it all out there.

In the tournament I let get away from me sunday I know there were a few shots I did not put my full effort into shots.  A few shots near the end I had a lapse in focus did not set up right and fulling commit to the shot.  That is what bothers me the most, it is not that I did not win but that I did not commit fully, and left effort out there.  If I put my full effort into the event and came out satisfied with the effort I would feel better about the outcome.

Now, I don’t mean to see you should run every death putt, and throw dynos at the top of highball boulder problems.   If you know you are in a good spot climbing, or you know you want you have a safe throw commit to it.  If you decision is to back off of a climb, or lay up a shot commit fully.  It is when you give partial effort that even that lay-up hits an early tree, or leaves you short,  the big move you half commit to you never stick it.  Make your decision commit fully to it, and so long as you have your full effort, and focus, failure is ok, it is a chance to learn.  So even though I fail, and I fail a lot, so long as the effort was there I’m ok with that, at least for now

 

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